I am sitting at my table pondering how to spend the upcoming holiday weekend. I have an invitation to go either to the Grand Canyon or to Moab. I haven't been to either and I think it would be a really good time spent with new friends exploring the greatness of the outdoors. Which totally isn't my thing but I am intrigued with this opportunity, I feel like it could be a really good thing to get out of town and outside of myself. I also could just go home to the fam and the Ziels... I know that they are hoping that is what I choose but I don't know. If I end up staying here I am just going to spend the time with the homeless... I was there not to long ago and I could give back.
Things have been so hectic, new job, new apartment, and new friends. It seems so surreal I have "auto-pilot" moments when I drive towards Taylorsville ready to pull into my little garage and be met at the door by my little dog. None of that is true, Lily is still in Idaho and I don't have a garage I have a numbered spot in a parking lot up a steep hill. Don't get me wrong I love my new space but in the "rebuild" of my life I am in a very different place than what I envisioned when I moved back here.
I didn't think things would swing up and down so drastically, they have been very UP!! and then DOWN!!! more down than up but that is changing. As I think of it I have to remind myself that it makes me who I am and I have to not think about how alone I am right now. I have never slept alone, it sounds funny but I have always either had a boyfriend or more importantly my dog! I need to get on that doctors note! haha! (If you know what I am talking about you will laugh but I am not going to divulge my evil plot to get my Lily here! )
I have so many moments that seem so surreal... It is easy to want a certain life and yet know that it isn't going to happen but I am going to live in the moment and just see where life takes me.
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