I can't wait for the holidays to be over.

I have really struggled with the Holidays this year, Christmas sucked I had hives and no money and I couldn't get anything for my friends and family for Christmas. I don't know what I am going to be able to do for New Years I don't know that I will make it to SLC because I am completely broke.
I need to decide what the hell I am going to do with my life. I need to either go full bore on the Insurance job which should pick up alot in the early months of 2008 or find something else to do. I am really struggling with which way I should go. I have teetered between finding something new or sticking with this. The company just did a big homecoming yay hooray meeting and they are doing a lot for the agents. I can see how this is one of the best companies to work for in a lot of ways but I am just not working as hard as I should be. So I lean from on side of the spectrum of wanting to just kick ass and do this to yikes what the hell am I doing I need to just jump ship and do something else.
Today I am feeling better about it I feel like I can succeed but it changes from day to day. I have my resume out there and I am not going to turn away from anything that comes my way. I do hope that I can do something different whether it be doing well at the job I have now or doing something completly different. I do really want to get back to Utah within the next year and so I need to decide. Ugg!!